Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
