I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He better not be in your backpack
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think people are normalizing furries
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
