When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
