can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
