I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
