Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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