I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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