I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
