The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think your dad took our porno
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
