Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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