you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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