pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
