New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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