apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
