I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
There's even glitter on my cock...
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