Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
