end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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