You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
