it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
