She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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