i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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