i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
