I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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