I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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