he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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