I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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