It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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