sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
