i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
