i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
