arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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