Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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