i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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