he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize