addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
