Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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