eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
