I'm going to rape someone's good day.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
