Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
