White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
