I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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