Kareoke will never be a sober sport
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
