ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
