I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
