I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
