Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
