I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
