I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
