She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Congratulations! We have a period
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
