you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
