His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My dick has a subreddit
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize