Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
