Are we in a gay sports bar?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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