office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize