I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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