If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
