No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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