What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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