And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
