cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Is it penis luge time yet?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
